We just had our first game. We beat Finland 13-1. Then we did what any team does after a big win, we found a horse field and shot portraits. Now, Ladies and Geetles, I proudly and dutifully, using only the power given to me by the Yugo Czech Austro Hungarian Slovak Empire, present to you, THE GREATEST JEWISH BASEBALL SHOW ON EARTH, the 2014 Israel National Team…
Eitan Maoz aka Swamp Thing, Catcher.
Aric Weinberg aka Cyborg aka the Flying Squirrel, has metal bones, capable of doubling body size for 3 seconds at a time, can actually fly, Center Field.
Orr Gottlieb aka Ogre aka Israeli Babe Ruth, Pitcher/Outfield/3rd base.
Alon Leichman, man of ultimate preparedness and honor, Right Handed Pitcher/Our Heart.
Yuli Tsypin aka Yules the Laugher, man of steele, Outfield/Right Handed Pitcher.
Amit Kurz aka the Trumpet, saved our lives 74 times on the drive yesterday,1st base/Utility.
Ophir Katz aka the Gardener, the only one of us brave enough to sport a mohawk for the tournament, Catcher/1st base/DH/Utility.
Tal Erel aka Mister T, Catcher.
Josh Weiss, failed 3 drug tests for Hairoids, Outfield.
David Weiss, created in a labratory to be used in future Terminator films, experiment went horribly wrong, scientists added too much swag, then Terminator was canceled, wound up on Israel National Team, Outfield.
Jonathan Isaac aka Jon Jon, the only man capable of visualizing himself visualzing, Outfield.
Dean Kremer aka Dean-O aka Kreme aka Krembo aka Dean Kremer Abdul Jabbar, Right Handed Pitcher.
Shlomo Lipetz, the man with a Trillion nicknames… and testicles, Shlo, Shlo Motion, Shlobot, Shlom Boy, Shlo Gun Assasin, Shlogurt, Shlo Time, Right Handed Pitcher.
Dan Rothem aka the Matrix aka Neo aka the Computer, 3rd base/Right Handed Pitcher.
Simon Rosenbaum aka Young Mag Pie, Actual Human Giant, ate this child after photo was taken, 1st Base.
Oren Gal aka Goat Boy, the only man who eats 2 breakfasts, 3 lunches, and 4 dinners, ate half his jersey in his sleep last night, woke up in a panic, 2nd Base.
Yotam Ben Amran aka the Monk, Rookie, Right Handed Pitcher.
Jake Rabinowitz, the largest Black Jewish Man in the former Yugoslavia, Pitching Coach.
Richard Kania aka Sir Richard, Voted best unofficial official honorary Israeli of the Century, Head Coach.
Suzanna aka Yentl, 1st Base Coach.
Tomer, Bat Boy.
Nate Fish, King of Jewish Baseball, Short Stop.
Next game is tomorrow, 5:30, against the hosts, Slovenia. Check http://www.baseballeurope.com/ for gamecasts, highlights, and scores. And search #roadtoslovenia on FB, Twitter, and Instagram to keep up with the Greatest Jewish Baseball Show on Earth this week as we chase a championship.