Ladies and Geetles, It is I, Champion of Ego and Idiocy, Moron Superhero of Earth and Other Places. Good to see you again. I can only assume, since my last post, you’ve been laying sleepless, clutching your pillow tight, wondering… What is next for The King of All Jewish Baseball? Surely something. Well, for once, dear idiot reader, you are correct. Something.
Ever heard of THE HUMAN OLYMPICS? You probably have. That’s right. The Olympics. The original and still ultimate test of physical and mental prowess and preparedness and synchronized swimming. Well, that’s it… that’s the answer… that’s what’s next… for me… and others… and THE ENTIRE WORLD.
It feels like only yesterday I flew to Tokyo (read the post) to cast the vote on behalf of Israel to get baseball and softball back into the Olympics. It was, in fact, eight years ago, 2013. I traveled across the world to fold an already small piece of paper in half and place it inside one of two, to my recollection, unmarked boxes. It must have been the right box though. Baseball was, after all, reinstated as an Olympic sport.
I had no expectation at the time we would be one of the teams competing in the event as I am incapable of conceptualizing “the future” as I’ve heard it described. But such is life. Random trips to Tokyo become somewhat less random trips to Tokyo, and so on. You know how it is.
So, it is time to begin preparations for this most ancient celebration of athletics and nationalism. To get ready, we will be greco roman wrestling mechanical bulls, sculpting our bodies into stone busts of ancient Greek Gods, chipped penises and all. We are, after all, Olympians.
You can, in a sense, be a part of the team. We launched a campaign called the 25th Player (listen to the 25th Player podcast). You’ve heard of the Seahawks 12th player, I presume, their fans. Well, we are taking 24 players to Tokyo, hence the 25th– you get it. Turns out, because of covid, only Japanese spectators are allowed at the ceremonies and games, so this truly is your only chance to be a part of the experience, feel like you’re really there. We made a video and everything. Check it out…
So play your circle synthesizer. Release the doves. Light the Torch of The Eternal Flame of The New Jersey Car and Boat Show. Be the 25th player on Team Israel at the 2021 Summer Olympics in Tokyo, Japan.
