Ladies and Geetles, faithful readers, the wait is over! After a long, hard flight through -52 degree temperatures, 10,000 feet in air, no less, using just the marvel of modern technology known as an airplane, and a store bought cape and crown, of course, I, King of All Jewish Baseball, have landed in Israel, and, following a thorough examination at Ben Gurion Airport– paperwork, IDs, photos, cavity search, and an archery test, have even magically been reborn a real Israeli citizen.
boom
Tomorrow we have elections for the Board of Directors of the IAB, my collective boss moving forward. And we have games Monday. The Senior National Team and the Junior National Team are scrimmaging at Baptist Village. At the ripe young age of 33, I begin my career with the last team I imagine I will play for, the Israeli Senior National Team.
I have not played in a game since the WBC last summer.
As you must know, after a year of faithful readership, I am coaching the USA Junior National Team for the upcoming Maccabi Games, THE GREAT CELEBRATION OF JEWISH SPORTSMANSHIP AND PAGEANTRY TO BE OBSERVED IN ISRAEL ON THE 3RD MOON OF JULY EVERY 4TH YEAR, aka the Jewish Olympics. And the Israeli Junior National Team is also in the tournament. So, Monday, I will be playing against the kids I will be coaching against in three weeks which conveniently provides me the opportunity to talk a little smack, I’M COMING FOR YOU GUYS.
I probably owe you an explanation of what the “Baptist Village” is, for one cannot casually drop such a phrase in conversation and expect the listener, or reader, to understand what a Baptist Village may be, but there’s no time for that. The answers shall come, slowly. And there will be lots of video to help.
For this moment, my life is unknown and simple. I am sitting in front of 5 open suitcases with everything I own in them, and a laptop. I just ate for dinner the same thing I ate for lunch, a turkey and hummus sandwich. It reminds me of when I was playing in Germany, living in the mental hospital next to the field, preparing meals with Paulino, washing our one pan and one dish each. I am suited for this. Despite currently wearing thousands of dollars of fake gold jewelry, I do not need anything fancy.
Things will get more complicated, I am sure, beginning, well, tomorrow.
I now attempt my greatest trick, using only the power of the internet and a new camera and the brain of a baby genius, I will paint for you a beautiful picture of the Kingdom of Jewish Baseball.
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