Tag Archives: #jerusalem

ISRAELIS DRIVE ANYTHING

3 Dec

What’s the Chottest Channukah gift of 2016? That’s easy. ISRAELIS DRIVE ANYTHING, the book. That’s right, Ladies and Geetles, using only the secret new technology called an “iPhone”, and obsessive compulsive behavior, I, the King of All Jewish Baseball, have created the world’s foremost useless collection of photos of Israelis driving… well, anything. I hunted Jazz Carriages, Donkey Carts, and Family Edition Mars Rovers through the streets of Jaffa, Israel for over three years. And now, without further ado, I humbly present THE BOOK. So go! Run! Click the link! Channukah is coming…

https://www.amazon.com/Israelis-Drive-Anything-Nate-Fish/dp/0692811885

Praise for ISRAELIS DRIVE ANYTHING…

“The funniest thing I’ve ever seen!” – Mahatma Gandhi

“Israelis Drive Anything exists at the delicate intersection of sociology and sarcasm.” -Max Weber

“What the hell is this?” – Barack Obama

“Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. We had no idea.” -The New York Times Book Review

 

ISRAELIS DRIVE ANYTHING

ISRAELIS DRIVE ANYTHING………………………… the Chottest Channukah gift!  https://www.amazon.com/Israelis-Drive-Anything-Nate-Fish/dp/0692811885

 

 

THE PREMIER LEAGUE

20 Oct

Just got back from a workout.  I don’t know why, after all these years, I am still doing it. The insanity of athletics is doing the same thing over and over as if it was the first time, with the same excitement, more, even, to jump hurdles, every day, or take a thousand ground balls, or run sprints on the beach, in the dark, alone.

We started our season, all of us, here in Israel, the kids, and the Old Guys like me.  I will tell you all about the kids’ teams, as, by now, faithful reader, you must know, but, for now, I will tell you about our adult league in Israel, the Premier League.

There are 4 teams in the PL; The Raanana Raiders, The Modiin Miracles, The Tel Aviv Comrades, and the Jerusalem Lions.  I am on the Lions.  We are 2, 2, and 1, so far, according to our website (www.baseball.org.il), with 2 forfeits, not having the required 8 player minimum.  A few days ago, in my second PL game, we played Raanana.  We won 8-5.  We had 8 guys, played with 2 outfielders, left-center, and right-center, but still managed a win.

The atmosphere was electric, let me tell you.  There was even a fan, the shadow of a fan, at least, in the dark, behind the backstop, watching, quietly.  You could hear the insects around our field like the faint echo of Major League playoff crowds 7,000 miles away, a total of 18 of us between the two teams, 21 counting the fan and 2 umps, some of us not even in uniform, under the lights, at Baptist Village, an orphanage turned baseball field that I also still have to tell you about, and shoot video of.

I am not sure why or what I am writing, exactly.  I suppose I just wanted to reassure you, as I know how it effects your sense of All That Is Right, I am still practicing, and still playing.  I might even still be getting better.  But probably not.

I must apologize for not having any magical images, moving or not, to accompany this post, only these words, this time, sitting at my desk, looking down at the hole I have worn in my sock.  Wait…

photo-2

SUCCOT

26 Sep

It is that magical time of year again, Succot, the GREAT CELEBRATION OF TREES TO BE TURNED INTO WOODEN BATS, when we construct batting cages to sleep in for 8 days and 8 nights.

In Israel, I have learned, to commemorate our great history, for one full month each year, NO ONE DOES ANYTHING.  No one works.  There is no school.  No one answers their phones.  And this year, that month was September.

What little American remains in me cannot accept simply doing nothing for an entire month, for we are machines, rugged individuals, each of us a factory, industrialists, existing on sheer will, brut force, and reality TV.  So I went to the wise sage Neon Leon Klarfeld, King of All Jewish Safety, Wellbeing, and Barbecues, and we devised a master plan, over chicken wings and ginger ale, of course.  We discussed creation, how to make somethingness in this extended period of nothingness.  We activated the QUITE POWERFUL BEAM OF LIGHT, the KOJB signal, if you will, and gathered our staff of coaches.  We packed our cars with bags of squishy baseballs, batting tees, home plates, baseball cards, foam bats, and flyers, and headed out into the brutal countryside to deliver nourishment like mana to the baseball starved youth of Israel for the 1st Annual Succot Baseball Clinics- a couple of regular Jewish Baseball Santa Clauses.

the KOJB mobile

the KOJB mobile

We went to 4 locations in 4 days; Jerusalem, Raanana, Kibbutz Gezer, and Tel Aviv.  We practiced together under the hot sun, Leon and I meeting early each morning, him limping, stiff from the day before, making us Turkish coffee on his portable propane stove, me pulling the car up as close as possible to unload, paperwork, schedule, set-up, here come the kids.  Each place we visited, a small green-blue-orange baseball flame was ignited, sure to become a raging bonfire of light by Hanukah, 150 kids in 4 days, the spirit of the game, so many high-fives.

Jerusalem

Jerusalem

David Schenker, the Toughest Man in Jewish Baseball (http://kingofjewishbaseball.com/2013/07/09/david/), teaches proper ground ball technique.

David Schenker, the Toughest Man in Jewish Baseball (http://kingofjewishbaseball.com/2013/07/09/david/), teaches proper ground ball technique.

Raanana

Raanana

Kibbutz Gezer

Kibbutz Gezer

Nate Fish, King of Jewish Baseball, talking to the kids early one Succot morning.

Nate Fish, King of Jewish Baseball, talks to the kids early one Succot morning.

Today is the final day of Succot, and the final day of the holidays. Tomorrow, Friday, people will be returning to school and work for a grueling half-day, it is, after all, a holiday, again, a time to relax, the Sabbath.

—-

Thank you to all the coaches who came out to help.  We’re doing it.