It’s that most regal, magical time of year again, Ladies and Junipers, that’s right, it’s the Israel Association of Baseball’s annual summer baseball clinics. Two weeks of pure Jewish Baseball Majesty.
IAB summer clinics!
The man you see squarely placed, back to the camera, in the middle of your screen, is Neon Leon Klarfeld, Overlord and Protector of All Jewish Safety, Wellbeing, and Barbecues.
Neon Leon Klarfeld
Leon has been here since the beginning, as it’s said, since ’86, when the IAB started. He has held every title imaginable within the exclusive ranks of Israel Baseball. He was the president of the organization for 8 years, in the 90s, when we had our largest period of growth. He even held my positon– nay, not King of All Jewish Baseball, for there is no other, but National Director. He is currently our chief umpire in the country, and he directs our summer camp.
Leon was born in Columbus, Georgia in 1951. At the ripe age of 1-month old, he and his family moved to, that’s right, this is becoming a theme, Queens, New York. Queens is like the Minor Leagues for Israel. When Leon was 18, he was called up to the Big Leagues, the real deal, Israel. And he has been here since. He has served, if my math is correct, 314 years in the Israeli military , and I can tell from the wild twinkle in his eye, he knows shit you and I do not, aaaand, he won’t tell us about it. Just last week, he killed 64 people, and was only killed 4 times.
Leon can be found at Kibbutz Gezer each summer, patrolling the right field line with his faded black and silver metal fungo bat, barking orders. His concern is not so much baseball as safety. If we do not go to the hospital, we have succeeded, a noble and seemingly manageable goal for any day, anywhere, but particularly in this place, and by someone who has seen what can happen when a man takes a baseball to the face, and maybe worse.
Leon, BBQ at your place Wednesday.
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