29 Jan

So, the big tournament, the tourney, what we had all come for, the 2013 AAU International Mens Fastpitch Softball Tournament (really rolls off the tongue).  36 teams from around the world.  The Gigantes, from Venezuela.  Hill United, with 8 members of Canadian National Team on their roster.  And Maccabi USA, the best, and only, believe it or not, all-Jewish team in the tournament….

Team Maccabi USA.

Team Maccabi USA.

We played 4 games in 3 days. We lost all 4.  3 of the games we lost by “run rule”, meaning the other team was winning by 8 or more runs after 5 innings.  Here are the results, in order… 1-13, 0-9, 4-5, 1-9.

I will say, the 5-4 game was against the team that went on to win the tournament, the Hill United Chiefs, and was a thriller.  We were winning 4-1 in the 5th.  Everyone, fans, other teams, had crowded around the backstop to see if the Jewish Team could beat the best team there.  Eventually, we could not.  They scored 4 runs in the bottom of the 5th, then brought in Adam Folkard, the ace from the Australian National Team and hands-down the best pitcher in the world, to close the game.  What can I say? – Not the best performance ever.  But we held our heads high after each battle, and focused our collective Magical Jewish Softball Beam towards the future. So now, without further prancing about, Ladies and Jamskis, it is my pleasure and honor to introduce the proud warriors of Team Maccabi USA…

Batting first…


Dan Winters.  Los angeles, CA.  Head Coach/C/Superstar. Dan played for the Oakland A’s organization.  In 1985, he was traded, along with another minor leaguer, for Dusty Baker. We make sure to remind him often that it’s the worst trade in the History of Major League Baseball.,4359638

Dan Winnick, CF/Speedster/Medal Guitar Soloist/Tech Genius/the King of Jewish Softball!

Dan Winnick.  San Francisco, CA. CF/Speed Medal Guitar Soloist/Tech Genius/the King of Jewish Softball!


Jason Gluckman aka CLUCKATRON. Los Angeles, CA. P/C/DH/Destroyer of many things/nasty habit, one of many, of pitching great in big games.


Tony Kahan. Chicago, IL.  C/Coach/CLUTCH performer/the King of All base clearing doubles.


Mike Goldman aka Goldy. New York, NY. 2B/OF/Admin Genius/King of All Jewish Lawyers, and that’s saying something.


Scott Wortman. Hometown Hero straight out of Florida. Disabled List (back)/Scorekeeper/Recently found GUILTY of wearing the questionable “Softball Visor”.


Aaron Owens. Los Angeles, CA. Played in the Brewers organization. C/1B/2B/P/Hell, anywhere on the field/high octane motor/suffers burning sensations in arm when throws/maniac/granted official honorary J-status from the highest court in the land, that is to say, the King of Jewish Baseball.


Larry Silfen. Los Angeles, CA. 2B/the glue that binds us/King of All Courtroom Videography


Marty Weiner. Los Angeles, CA. OF/the Rookie/King of Firsts


Joe Shwartz. Arizona. 2B/OF/Breast Cancer Awareness Enthusiast/the King of Hard Hit Ground Balls Through the Right Side


Mark Brill aka the Jewish Bobby D. Miami, FL. 3B/avoided injury/voted South Florida’s Most Eligible Man of Mystery Jewish Softballer of the Year Award each of the last 11 years.


Nate Fish. Brooklyn, NY (soon to be Tel Aviv, Israel). SS/the King of All Jewish Baseball.

Not photographed:  Jacobo Dabbah aka Doc aka JoboJoboBoboBobo.  Mexico City, Mexico. P/lone representative of global non-American community/was either dodging the camera, or was attending to one of his many more important responsibilities as the King of All Jewish OBGYNs.

2 Responses to “MACCABROS”

  1. Hertz, Stephen January 29, 2013 at 11:00 pm #

    Release EVERYONE! Let’s start over. Did you see Al Schlazer?

    Sent from my iPad

    • Nate Fish January 29, 2013 at 11:22 pm #

      Skip, Did not see Al. Asked a couple people if they knew him. But we were mostly busy running around. I know, not a great showing…

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