LOS ANGELES

2 Aug

King Of goes over 2,000 readers!  Boom.  Follow KOJB on twitter @kingofJbaseball.  It will drastically improve your lot in life, promise–  after all, you will be in the company of royalty.  We’re taking this all the way to Jupiter, and back.  1 million readers is the goal.

Not a lot of team news.  MLB.com ran this story a couple days ago about Coach Green and the team…

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20120731&content_id=35915560&vkey=news_mlb&c_id=mlb

It is true, what you’ve heard, I left the comforts of my palace in New York City to fly on my aircraft, Jew Force One, across the land all the while looking down on my minions.

I ask you now, what is better than this place? – this Los Angeles, as it’s called, with its wide boulevards lined with impossibly tall trees that look like dinosaurs and its perfectly manicured lawns and its white people.  It’s like a heaven.  I am considering ordering my concubines here to build me a new palace, with a baseball field in the middle.  We’ll call it… Yankee Stadium.

LA, the land of dinosaurs

I have some shocking news.  It turns out I am not the first Baseball King.  In fact, as most young royals eventually come to terms with, I am simply one in a long line of hilarious, sick, self-obsessed demigods.   There have been two men before me who shared a similar title, Clown Prince of Baseball.  And here’s the kicker.  They were both Jews.  So now I, current sovereign leader of Jewish Baseball Clowning, must pay my respects to those that came before me, KOJB the 1st, and KOJB the 2nd, if you will.

First, there was this fella’, Al Schacht…

Al Schacht, the 1st King of Jewish Baseball.

Schacht played three years in the Major Leagues compiling a perfect 14-0 record in his career.  But he was best known for his ability to imitate other players and entertain the crowd from the third base coaching box earning him the nickname, Clown Prince of Baseball.  He coached 13 in the Bigs.

Then, there was Max Patkin, the real Clown Prince of Baseball.

Max Patkin, KOJB, the 2nd

Patkin performed over 4,ooo times in 51 years as the Clown Prince.  He even appeared as himself in Bull Durham.  Here he is, doing his thing… the one, the only, Max Patkin.

They don’t understand, Max– the love, the pain, the tears of the Jewish Baseball Clown.  But I hear you.  Brother, one day we will unite in the Great Baseball Hall of Fame in the Sky, Los Angeles I believe it is called.  I’ll see you there.  Until then, I’ll make sure the legacy of Jewish Baseball Clowning is safe.  Humbly, KOJB… the 3rd.

2 Responses to “LOS ANGELES”

  1. Richie August 7, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

    If the reigning KOJB is still in Los Angeles, I’d love to schedule 15 minutes or more with his heinous, oops, I mean highness. Let’s play ball. Call: 734-717-7424

  2. Dave Blackburn August 27, 2012 at 8:18 pm #

    Nater, I can’t believe you were in LA, and I didn’t hear from you. Hope the tryout went well. If this blog was called King of Jewish Softball, who would be wearing the crown, the robe, and carrying the septor? Let the people know I will pitch again, as I am getting fitted for my prosthetic and brace this week. Yesterday, Sunday August 26th, was the two year mark of the accident that ended my career, and almost ended my life. Breedski.

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